The Subchocolate Crackathon
by Arauru
Summary: The Evil Tabuu has stolen all of the chocolate in the land of Smash, to use as chocolate explosives and turn the world into Chocolate Land! Can the Smash Bars stop him before everyone is turned into yummy, edible chocolate? Warning: Chocolate. Crackfic!
1. The Beginning

Please, please don't ask me why I did this. It's not like me at all.

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Once upon a time there was a happy, happy place known as Smashland which was full of joy and prosperity and tasty goodness. It was famous for its drastic amount of chocolate, which was named after the great hero once known as Lord Chocolaty Choc, who once saved the world by eating, well, a large bar of chocolate.

Its habitants were huge fans of chocolate, and lived on it like any normal human would on air. It brought great happiness to the world, whether it was a bar, a hot drink, an ice cream, or even a guinea pig! However, there were many evil people that sought to rid the world of the naughty, naughty people who hogged all the chocolate and left them with the cheap kinds in the supermarket. With such a threat to such chocolately goodness, the heroes of the world, and part time chocolate factory workers, The Super Smash Bars (er, Smash Bros) set out to find the cause of all this nonsense and take down the people responsible for this!

Though they probably should have prepared themselves for it.

One day, when two members of the Smash Bars were training infront of millions of chocolatey fans, the sky suddenly turned red, and stuff, and then suddenly a huge ship made of dark chocolate sailed past in the sky and started dropping little purple ugly things at people! They spawned, and spawned, and as Mario Mario and Kirby watched in utter confusion, two other smashers came out of nowhere trying to be ninjas. But really, they weren't very good at it.

What surprised them next was a huge sort of sphere...thingy falling from above and two robots _magically_ appeared to **open it up**. Shocked, the smash bars caught a glimpse of...A Chocolate Bomb, which had the power to eliminate all in the stadium and turn everyone into chocolate statues! Mario broke into a sprint in order to try and stop the machine, but was suddenly attacked by a huge ball of …guess. Kirby really should have been scared, but he laughed, because he thought it was really random and stuff.

Meanwhile, in a land far, far, far up high, the World of White Chocolate, there was a random angel dude watching the scene before his eyes in this watery like substance. He gasped, like woah, and thought that he could lend a hand to stop such violence. With power granted from his Goddess, he was able to receive the Bows of Yumyum, and he ran out a door and fell off a cloudy cliff.

While he did this, more trouble was brewing down in the lands of Smashland. Petey Piranha decided to make a guest appearance and steal the two princess ninjas! (like that's never been done before) and smashed the two cages together whilst singing Lady Marmalade. Kirby realised he had to take action and, completely forgetting the timed chocolate bomb, went to kill the big plant by stomping on it's head and freeing one of the two princesses from harm.

But that is not all! Incoming Wario, lord of fatness and luxury chocolate bars, who somehow managed to climb up to the floating stadium with this like huge canon thing which he could carry with one hand and stuff! He went, "Hahaha," and pointed it at Peach, who was chewing on the chocolate bars of her cage (it was dark chocolate, yum!). She was so much in a world of her own, dreaming of the delicious food, that she didn't realise that she too had became what was known as a Chocolate Peach, available limited time only in selected stores.

Zelda and Kirby were outraged!! Wario jumped into the sky with a huge amount of time and effort, so much time that by the time Zelda and Kirby had managed to reach his former spot, the bomb reached zero and it went "Boom." No-one really cared about the audience however, anyway, maybe, infact they will most likely make a good dinner later.

­-

The little angel dude from before had managed to missed some mountains on the way down, but not all of them, so, with a huge rock stuck to his head, he proudly ventured through the unnaturally pink and orange sky in search for the chocolate person that had quite an appealing nose. He searched, and searched, because there were so many things to see way up high. He also got attacked at one point, but yea, the purple things just fell right through the clouds because 1. I'm lazy, and 2. That's what gravity does to you.

When he managed to find the Chocolate Mario, the little angel dude, now named Pit because that takes too damn long to type, gave his nose a few licks before freeing him from his chocolatey prison and bringing him back to the living of the squishy, big eyed people. Mario was all, "Yo," and Pit was like, "'Sup Mario?" and this concluded their agreeance to find the thingy that dropped the thingy and caused the thingy to explode and chocolatelify countless people.

Unknown to them, the huge ship thing of dark chocolateness sailed right past them while they acted all cool and stuff, and Zelda so happened to be on board with Kirby.

But they were being chased!!

Another member of the Smash Bars decided to join in on the fun and started shooting the dark chocolate, melting some holes in the back of the ship. Oh yea, and Zelda was on it too. And she got shot and fell off, making the whole point of getting on the ship to take the helm worthless. Damn.

**To be Continued, because I got bored.**

(Suggestions for the story will be appreciated, half of the title credit goes to Aether-x3. Because she demands attention. And chocolate.)


	2. Chocolate Bananas

In the deep, deep jungles of scrumptiousness lay trouble! There were goombas, little squish able things, and lots and lots of killer turtles with big appetites! Our favorite big brute Donkey Kong was located in his favorite place to try and stop these incredibly annoying evildoers! With a bish bash bosh, and some real good nosh, he pummeled his way through the nasty little buggers and ran as fast as a heavyweight character could to try and catch up with a certain car.

This car was attempting to steal his **chocolate bananas.**

Needless to say, this made DK very, very angry.

"WAAARGH!!" DK said, attempting to be a monkey but I'm no good at monkey impressions. Live with it. He pounded his chest acting all awesome like Tarzan. And stuff. Yeah. He growled when he saw that the car was almost out of sight.

The car power leveled to level two and started shooting _Mega Huge Cannons of Doom_ and evilness at DK, but all too soon help was on it's way. Armed with chocolate peanut guns, Diddy Kong flipped out of the trees like some sort of expert of something, but not really since he managed to trip in the air in this process. Landing on his face, he quickly gathered himself and started shooting the cannonballs aimed for his friend.

Being chocolately and all, the peanut guns beat the metal spheres pretty easily. Yep.

The goomba on the car noticed such a horrific deed and squeaked, and he blew up into a quadrillion pieces. However the car was still being controlled by a koopa turtle and it kept riding away with the **Chocolate Bananas. **DK and Diddy pointed at the moving char as if it was going to make a huge difference in their lives. They threw themselves off the cliff and ran after it.

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After quite a while of perusing the capturer of the **Chocolate Bananas **they managed to, miraculously get them back. But the rejoicing of the Kong's did not last for long, for someone always has to ruin the day. Bowser emerged from the trees of scrumptiousness and lol'd. DK and Diddy prepared for combat despite the huge gun being aimed at their heads, and Bowser started firing away. Instead of letting his dear friend get shot, Donkey Kong decided to punch him in the face. Partly because he wanted to save him, but mostly because he wanted all the **chocolate bananas** to himself. But they would have to wait.

"Nooo!" Diddy said in monkey ness, "They turned yet another useless character into chocolate! Now I have no-one to share my **chocolate bananas** with!..Wait..." Bowser ignored him for the best and ran away and stuff.

In a plain nearby, Mario and Pit had reached the ground and were in chase of the Ancient Minister carrying yet another chocolate bomb. Pit obviously didn't feel like flying or using his Bows of YumYum, so he started jumping on Mario's head instead, which caused both to fall back and let the minister get away. Shaking his fist, Pit tutted.

"Gosh! We almost had him. If only you weren't so slow, Spaghetti man!"

"Mamma mia…" Mario groaned.

But anyway, yea, back to Diddy Kong. Instead of flying away like in the cutscence, Diddy Kong helped himself to a big load of yummy, delicious **Chocolate Bananas**, and then decided to go for a lovely little stroll around the lake. What a lovely day it was! Diddy cherished such moments, completely forgetting DK's existence.

As he wandered around the water he came across this rather peculiar looking metal spiky thingy, which certainly didn't look much like chocolate to him. It made him sad. No chocolate made him sad...if only he brought some more **Chocolate Bananas** with him…

A big snake came and, like, blew up the metal spiky thingy, before grabbing Diddy Kong and eyeing him, quite obviously mistaking him for chocolate! And out of the metal spiky jumped Fox, the anti-gravity, explosive immune man! Or…fox. Yea. The snake, Rayquaza attempted to kill him but was stupid and got hit by his own psybeam. Doing a cool pose, Fox he went bang, bang, bang, and then the snake died. Isn't that nice?

Diddy, free from Rayquaza, begged Fox to help him go and get revenge on Bowser, but not before they carried the Chocolate Bananas back to his shack in the forest.

"No way man, back to my fiery ship I go. I have chocolate to eat, I mean, save." However Diddy would not have it!

"Oohh oohh aah aha! Vfjklfrn!" It yelled, and pulled Fox away by the collar. Fox only looked back to his ship in both adoration and grief that he was to be separated from it.

They searched, and searched, because this is not an action story and _I do not do action._ They searched a little bit more, despite having searched before, and soon found that their searching of searches was almost in vain. That was, until Bowser searched them FIRST!

"Roar." He yelled and stuff, but instead of getting out his cannon again, decided to clone himself for the sheer sake of it! Created was Chocolate Bowser, evil counterpart of Bowser made soley of **Chocolate Bananas** and some soy sauce. Yummy. He sent himself after Fox and Diddy Kong, and then ran away again like a little sissy.

Appearing from amist the trees, Chocolate Bowser and the two smash bars members dueled it out like really epic like and stuff. Fox dived towards him, and chewed off his arm!

"Tasty," he commented, before taking another large bite of Chocolate Bowser.

"No! How did you know my weakness!" Chocolate Bowser groaned. Fox smirked.

"Because I am ANTI-GRAVITY MAN! Scroll up, man." Bowser did so.

"..Oh. Well that makes sense." Then Fox bit off his head.

"Yay Bowser died!" Diddy Kong rejoiced, since he was dumb.

"..Yes, yes his did." Fox agreed anyway. "Now can I go back to my ship?"

"Ooohhohh…no."

"Damn."

**End of Chapter Two. Dun dun dun.**


End file.
